The topic of whether “Presidents Day is a federal holiday” has seen a spike in search interest due to recent news articles highlighting various perspectives on the holiday. A compelling piece in Time Magazine presents “10 Surprising Facts About Presidents’ Day,” which likely triggered curiosity about the holiday’s status and significance. The article’s engaging content could have prompted many to search for basic information about the holiday and its federal designation.
Additionally, an opinion piece in The Washington Post titled “Presidents’ Day doesn’t exist” introduces a controversial viewpoint that challenges common perceptions of the holiday. This provocative assertion may have spurred readers to seek clarification on what constitutes a federal holiday and the legitimacy of Presidents Day in that context. The article’s unexpected claim likely motivated people to investigate the official status and recognition of the holiday further.
Moreover, even smaller sources affirm the acknowledgment of Presidents Day as a federal holiday, which can amplify search interest as individuals cross-reference their assumptions with varying reports. The discrepancies in the portrayal of Presidents Day among these articles can lead to consumer confusion, further fueling the volume of related searches as people try to discern the truth about the holiday’s federal status.
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Internet Reacts
I
Your daughter identified the father as a Disney dad and a red flag all on her own. You agreeing with her didn’t form her opinion, she has eyes and media literacy and can see for herself that he was able to choose to do the fun and easy things because he knew he could rely on his wife to cover the bills and be the sensible one, and he was taking advantage of her for it. Stop covering for your husband – let him be accountable to his own children. “Why doesn’t dad like Valentine’s Day?” “You’ll need to ask dad about that one.” Your husband is the same low-effort, taker he’s always been. You’re underreacting to that. Pay attention to your children – they are watching this. Your daughter sees it, she’s noticed that the father in Mrs Doubtfire is not the hero, it won’t be long before she notices her father is just as bad, if not worse, because at least Daniel Hillard brought fun to his kids’ lives and he learned how to cook and keep house and keep a job, even if he was a crap husband.
B
The part where she answered for her husband immediately made me go : no, you tell her to go ask him, because maybe he NEEDS to be asked why he is like this from his child.
E
The line between “painting dad in a flattering light” and “gaslighting your own children” is vanishingly thin. OP needs to be careful; she could be compounding the harm instead of mitigating it.
C
>It’s been 3 years since our lowest point. And why does he always start crap on holidays I enjoy?! My head is still reeling from the fact that everything in this post seems to be *better* in OP’s mind. The real issue that’s going to cause problems with her kids is that she’s gaslighting herself into staying in a relationship that she probably wouldn’t want anyone else in her life to suffer through. They have eyes and 14 is old enough to see this is a terrible relationship and has been for a long time. He’s lying to her about what they decided, doesn’t care at all about the holiday or any other type of romantic gesture, drinks instead of eating his dinner, blows up at his family… OP if you’re reading this, what part of this guy/relationship is good for you? What part of this is making you happy? Lastly, if your daughter started dating someone like this would you tell her she was overreacting?
H
Thuy predict in ten years 46% of women will be child free. Posts like this explain why. If women stopped making excuses and took men at face value and only looked at their behavior, would there be a relationship to salvage?
H
I was thinking this too, at this point, she’s teaching her daughter that this kind of relationship is normal. Downplaying her husband’s shittiness is doing a huge disservice to her children.
B
This! The kids will begin to not trust her so she needs to be honest with them or send them to dad for the answer or say she has no answer.
M
I’ve always wondered about this. I have no children, but when Dad acts like a real shitbag, when do you agree with your child pointing this out, and when do you “paint Dad in a good light”? I have friends with children and shitty Dads. It has been inferred that I am completely wrong when I say that maybe Mom needs to agree with child being upset at Dads incredibly shitty behavior, instead of giving Dad grace. To me, that sounds like gaslighting the children. I am sure the situation is very nuanced, but I would appreciate any thoughts on this.
L
I agree. “Painting dad in a flattering light” when no flattery is deserved is also known as excusing bad behavior and enabling that behavior. She is NOR, but she has been enabling. Being “better now than he used to be” is a low bar of achievement if he was a lump to start with, now he’s just a jiggly lump.
T
The main thing OP is teaching her daughter is to fawn over subpar men. Hopefully she’ll continue to make her own judgments and won’t accept as little as her mom has.
B
Brilliant read.
C
Imagine blowing up your marriage over Valentine’s Day
B
Yeah, I know, why would her husband choose to do that.
C
It’s not him doing it
B
Sounds like it’s already blown to pieces
P
The way he treats you will be a blue print for your teen on how she expects men to be and what she’s willing to accept from a future partner. Your Husband is not setting a good example and for even just for her sake you should not tolerate it. It is not respectful, thoughtful or loving. He turned a probably completely innocent comment from you daughter and made it a massive issue for no reason. He saw himself in the loser father and projected that. Tell him that even if V day means nothing to him, it does matter to you and it’s not ok to make you feel like an afterthought or unloved. He needs to shape up. If anything, you’re underreacting to shitty and then sulky behaviour.
G
Well said. The comment that stuck out to me was “getting ready to go out, in case he planned dinner.” Do they not talk at all? What happens if she made dinner and he says they’re going out? Childcare? Getting a table on V-day without a reservation? Perhaps it was just hopeful thinking in her part. NOR – actually, OP is way under reacting.
S
Yeah, that comment made me feel sad for OP. Also, the kids noticing the dad’s behavior and asking why he wasn’t celebrating Valentine’s Day with them. That’s all the info I need, to know that this is not a good situation to stay in. NOR. Husband either shapes up fast (doubtful 😉) or OP ships him out.
W
Agreed! Even my alcoholic dad never forgot holidays and loved Valentine’s Day! We always got something from him that was special. OP sure got the short stick with the schmuck she’s married to!
N
Do they not talk at all? That is clear. Sometimes we have to say timeout when life is busy so the important parts of a relationship have time to shine.
M
41 m. It’s because he takes her for granted and doesn’t care. Often if this is a new behavior then it’s likely internal but if OP has accepted it for years, which sounds plausible, he believes this is how he should behave. To be honest it sounds like he’s emotionally dead inside. He likely sees no actual problems with his behavior because he has got by in other excuses like being a good father (if true) or supporting the family financially (if true) just as some examples.
L
Yeah I was gonna say – you aren’t doing your kids any favours by covering for him and struggling to find something to be grateful for in this half-assed disappointing gift. All you’re teaching them is to have self esteem as low as yours. 😕 You deserve more than this and so do your kids. Get madder. 10-20 years from now when an asshole tries to snub your daughter like this, do you want her to simper and say “thank you”, or do you want her to call it out and demand better treatment? She is watching and learning from you.
Z
>The way he treats you will be a blue print for your teen on how she expects men to be and what she’s willing to accept from a future partner. Not always. My dad was and is shit. I’ve never chosen a man like him and I always knew what red flags to look out for because of him.
I
It sounds like OP’s daughter has her eyes open at least if she can spot that the hero of Mrs Doubtfire isn’t actually that good of a person.
S
My mom used to say “If you can’t be a good example, you’ll have to settle for being a horrible warning”. She was saying it mostly in regards to my dad, but she turned out to be right about both of them. It’s harder being a parent yourself when all you had is horrible warnings instead of good examples but I’m trying really hard to be good enough for my own kids.
B
And also it clearly matters to the kids as they were excited about it too. It’s not just that he’s being shitty to her, but to them as well.
A
“I tried to be grateful for the effort he did put in”. What effort? Where ….? Til rolling your eyes and grabbing some shit you were already meaning to get for yourself and signing your name on a card you only got because your family has the audacity to love him and unfortunately highlight his lack of effort and made him feel awkward enough to do the most minimal last minute gesture is “effort”. Then proceeds to get his feelings hurt buy a 30 year old movie featuring a man who cons his own family 💀
B
He is such a bad father that he loses custody of his kids then instead of working on himself he disguises himself to break a court order and then is still seen as the hero at the end of the movie.
L
I tried rewatching as a divorced mom and was horrified. My ex was so abusive and then so obsessed with me when I left, I had to put in strict communication rules through a court ordered app and he wasn’t allowed to step foot into my house, my safe space, for years while I healed and he grew up. I kept my communication order in my purse at all times so I could call the police if he tried to harass me in public. The thought of him conning his way into my life like in the movie was horrifying.
M
I 100% think Robin Williams is a lost treasure and a hilarious man, but also will never watch that movie again because I am divorced now and I’m sure it will be more of a horror movie than a comedy. If I want to watch a Robin Williams movie with lots of drag the Birdcage is right there. I also think it’s funny that the husband was so offended, because he can’t even get it together enough to buy a Valentine for his kids, no way would he go through an elaborate con to dress and drag and be a nanny.
D
Why are you still married to someone who drags you down all the time? Sounds to me like the perfect time to strike out on your own. Kids are old enough to have opinions and let you know what’s going on. He’s got a job now? Great. Leave him and you won’t have to worry about him adulting on his own. You’ll feel so much lighter finding joy without him.
L
So this is a good spot where he grudgingly does the bare minimum and it’s ok? You deserve more than scraps
B
Sounds like he maybe took what the 14 yr old said as a personal attack on him (i.e saying ‘this dad sucks’ as a veiled way of saying ‘my dad sucks’), possibly because he was already on the defensive because of how he knows how visible it is to everyone that he messed up Valentines (by forgetting, by trying to blame you, by putting in no effort with what he did). Very unfair on you both. Source: own dad would do shit like this. You’re absolutely not overreacting. I would also just….Idk, keep an eye on how he relates to 14 yr old because that can be the age that, as a kid, you go, in the eyes of dad, from ‘kid’ to ‘woman will become an embodiment of my issues with women in general/my wife’.
B
I have a stepdad that came into the picture around the age of OPs daughter. Please, for the love of God, tell your daughter she deserves better, but you also need to tell your husband to do better. I saw what my stepdad did, and didn’t do, for my mother. Holidays and gifts used to be her thing. Not anymore because that man sucked all the fun out of it, then would drink a few beers and turn into an asshole because he would feel guilty he didn’t do anything. I have now married a man who also doesn’t validate my love of holidays, but guess what? I told him to stop being a selfish twat and realize the bigger picture of a holiday is to make sure you can enjoy and appreciate the people around you. I think a lot of us in a certain age bracket had it pounded into our head that it’s all commercial and you need to spend money. To OP: You know what your daughter probably would have loved? If dad spent time with her baking a cake, or painting a picture, to give to mom on Valentine’s Day. Not ONLY spending time with his kids but also having a meaningful gift in the process to give you. I’m tired of men getting the pass on anything holiday related because I KNOW who’s buying the Christmas presents for husbands parents and it isn’t your husband, right?
I
My ex decided birthday presents weren’t important on my birthday but expected them on his. :))))))
B
I had one of those before too. Happy to hear they are your ex now! Congratulations!! 🎉
I
Thank you! He’s long gone but I still wake up every day grateful he’s not in bed next to me 🥳
M
This is the saddest part about it all. The 14-year-old has accurately identified that her father’s behavoir sucks, and has enough insight and media literacy to see how the way in which he sucksed is a common, weak sauce trope that got celebrated in men (in the past). She’s 14, not 4. Even if OP tried, a mom can’t shield her or get away with excuses/justifying a dad any longer. Your average teen is not gonna mindlessly worship a parent who doesn’t put in the work, and there is a huge risk of him turning on her as “Just like all those other women (who don’t put up with my transparent bullshit).” instead of offering her the reliable and respectful relationship as a parent that he owes her, regardless of his flaws as a partner.
A
Big agree
N
☝🏻
B
There are so many layers to unpick. The movie is not the thing, this year’s Vday is not the thing – it’s ALL the thing. You try to feel grateful for someone who, really, you don’t think even meets a basic standard of partnering.
Q
Your husband seems like a dick. Is he the kind of guy you’d want your daughter to marry? If not, why are you modeling this for her? If yes, really take a look at what you wrote then think about the question again.
I
THIS! Spent 8 years with my ex husband who made every holiday miserable because of his own unresolved issues (and refused to work through said issues). What finally woke me up was realizing that I would be devastated for my daughter if she, like me, finds joy in celebrating the little holidays and wins in life her and husband made her feel like a burden for it. It takes 15 minutes to buy a card and chocolates, write something thoughtful and set it out. 15 minutes to make your partner feel loved is a small fucking ask. Especially when you’re modeling how a husband should treat his wife.
Q
My husband currently has a broken leg and cannot walk. He is in massive pain all day. He still found the time to order me some flowers and a little present.
R
I just watched Mrs. Doubtfire recently and soooo much sympathized for the mom.
O
“…Truth be told we went from a bad bad place to a good one with as lot of work. We’ve come a long way since then as a couple…” Is the now healthy relationship in the room with you?
M
Apprently not 🫣 I thought it was but truth be told I think I have been so grateful he was finally participating in the family by getting a job that I’ve been blind to the other crap
S
OP please take more time to evaluate the work that’s being put in by him. Maybe he is trying, maybe he isn’t. We only know part of the story, but from what you e said it really doesn’t sound like he is fully mentally/emotionally present in the relationship.
B
Nor. He proved the point didn’t he? Hes not willing to make effort. He expects life & kids to be magically taken care of. And he expects no one to call him out He should be grateful his daughter has higher standards & won’t settle for him
K
This man has shown you exactly who he is for 17 years and you’ve accepted it. So yes, in a way YOR because you’re allowing your disappointment with him to create emotional turmoil and stress. Drop any expectations you have of him and accept him for the asshat (your word, not mine) that he is or demand change (seek marriage counseling and set clear goals) and leave if you don’t get it.
Additional Sources:
Time Magazine – 10 Surprising Facts About Presidents’ Day
The Washington Post – Opinion | Presidents’ Day doesn’t exist
