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Internet Reacts
M
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
L
Her parents are offering her an incredible deal IMO. Free living, free schooling, free child care. Honestly his sister is very stupid, very entitled, or both. The fact she won’t even consider going after Ed for child support – OOP can tell his sister to fuck right off.
F
Not just that but apparently they also included “rest” as one of the times they would provide childcare…. Can I take that deal… only I don’t have a child… I would just like someone to shoulder my load so I can nap for a while.
L
She should be on her knees thanking them as far as I’m concerned.
I
Far too many parents would at best let their pregnant daughter live with them but expect her to start working and contribute to the household and at worst just kick her out. This deal is fucking amazing, many teens and young women would have wept if they received such an offer.
S
Exactly. I think OPs sister wanted OP to take care of the baby while she continues her single lifestyle. Super selfish
E
100%. She’s absolutely the type to ditch the baby with him unexpectedly to go out all night right before finals
O
I hope OP’s girlfriend realizes that sis has options and wasn’t kicked to the street.
T
Hopefully he can relay that to his GF, and then make sure she knows how entitled his sister felt to him sacrificing his own happiness in order to cover for her terrible decisions.
J
I was a teen mother. If my parents had offered me the option of abortion, I would have jumped at the chance, but unfortunately both my boyfriend at the time AND my parents were staunchly anti-abortion. If my parents had offered me the deal being offered to OOP’s sister, I would have fallen on my knees in gratitude and enthusiastically accepted.
X
Exactly this. So many families wouldn’t even offer a fraction of that kind of support. Her parents might be strict, but they’re giving her a legit path forward. Free housing, childcare, and education? That’s not being controlling, that’s setting her up to succeed. If she can’t recognize that, it’s on her
A
Especially when she’s over the age of majority. How many stories on here are there about 16 year old parents being told they have to pay for themselves and their baby’s expenses?
I
Ikr! My niece is about to turn 2 this month. Now don’t get me wrong, I think the world of her. But from the way my sister and BIL talk, they’re still not getting a full night’s sleep. It’s even worse when she’s sick, because she doesn’t really nap either. She was sick recently, and I felt horrible for her, I did. However, her parents looked like they hadn’t slept in days. They were making jokes about having me watch her for a full day on the weekend just so they could sleep, and I told them I was available if they needed me.
I
My youngest is four and still doesn’t sleep all the way through the night. It’s really debilitating. My other two went until 2.5 before they slept through the night. I hope your niece achieves longer sleep cycles soon!
U
My youngest is 5 now. He still sleepy ninjas into our bed about half the time (wants the comfort/warmth). Which is really sweet on one level, and he doesn’t even always wake me up slipping in (hence ninja), but he has sharp elbows, and sometimes wants to literally lie on top of me while he’s sleeping. It is bad for my back… Also, when he was a baby, my eldest and middle were still waking up most nights too… “The baby slept for 4 hours straight! Both his sisters had me up in that time!” Was not uncommon back then. My sleep patterns are utterly broken at this point.
F
Mine are 2 and 4. And… yes. To everything you said.
A
We haven’t had a full night sleep in over 8 years…
T
If you don’t own noise cancelling earbuds now, get them before you have a baby for a full day that you know is a screamer lol. Just to take the edge off.
W
Sister was trying triangulation. Good thing the OOP spoke to them first, so that he had the full picture.
S
The sister just didn’t want to give up dating and partying.
A
No kidding! Wtf, her parents are saints!
A
I would take that deal in her situation, but I suspect she is one of those people where the “no dating” is a deal breaker. If I had my first big relationship with an older deadbeat who left me pregnant and alone, I’d probably be fine with laying off men until I could learn to make better decisions, but I have a suspicion she’s one of those women whose self worth hangs on whatever man she is currently with. I know girls like this. They will throw away everything, great jobs, their education, their future, up to and including their own children, for some new guy because “it’s for real this time” or some returning loser who’s going to be “different this time.” I’m glad her brother is letting her stew in her own juices.
W
My bet would be she actually hopes the deadbeat will come around and take her back. She’s still under his thrall. So it’s not just not dating that would be a problem, but not dating that loser, whom her parents hate, in particular, that she wants to still be able to see.
A
Yeah. That was at the back of my mind, too. They didn’t approve of him in the first place, so it’s not like they’re going to approve even more now that he’s knocked her up and hung her out to dry.
T
Her parents begged her to get an abortion, she kept it. I strongly suspect she thought she was baby-trapping him, without considering that a married 42 year old with kids who is dating a 21 year old is not really a ‘step up and do the right thing’ kind of guy.
M
Had a neighbor that was like this. Moved in with her parents, refused to hold a job, and promptly had three babies by three different daddies in three years, on top of the four year old she already had. No joke. She ended up losing the oldest child and one of the babies to their father’s, and the other two to the state, after her parents’ landlord had her evicted.
J
It honestly sounds to me like sister spent way too much time watching tik toks with nonsense about being her own woman (she called her parents misogynistic for asking her not to party while she has a baby at home?? That’s not misogynistic, that’s reasonable). It sounds exactly like those clips that tell us we can behave without consequences because we’re “queens”. Life isn’t like that. Life has consequences. Sister is so entitled, she’s delusional. Or “delulu” as the kids say these days.
T
‘Being delulu is not the solulu’
I
That’s true. They basically told her they will watch the baby while she goes to school, studies and rests! It’s probably a family that holds academic education high and wants to do everything for their kids to study. It’s also fair of them to put up boundaries. Nowhere does it say that she can’t grab a coffee with a friend or go to the mall. But she is going to be a mom. She purposefully chose that commitment. She can’t just act like a single student. She needs to do everything to be able to find a job that’s going to feed her and the baby – and her parents are trying to help her achieve that. I honestly don’t think they are being overly strict. They are just realistic and try to set her up for success.
S
>and rests! They only want her to go back to school when the baby is 1 year old. I firmly believe in the 4th trimester, but her parents are offering her 400% more time to recover from her pregnancy, from giving birth and from caring for a newborn.
D
Yup, privileges come with responsibilities. She’s getting the massive privilege of getting her education paid for, plus getting free childcare, and her responsibility is just to not date (considering that’s what got her in this situation in the first place) and to listen to her parents.
H
My mom offered a similar deal when I was pregnant at 19, just without the free schooling. You can bet that I took that deal in a heart beat. Once I got back on my feet a bit, she asked I pay a small amount of rent ($100) and start taking over some of the expenses for the baby, which was no problem for me. I’m not sure where I’d be these days (19 years later) if I hadn’t taken that deal.
F
You know just based on her rejecting those terms what she planned to do when living with Op. Throw as much on his plate as possible because “life is hard for her” and go on to drink her sorrows away. Poor child. At best it will end left 4 out of every 7 weekdays with any of her friends assuming she can pin the baby onto them.
T
Yeah, I don’t think she was planning on actually ever contributing once she had wormed her way into OP’s place.
G
She watches too much TikTok. How is anything they requested misogynistic?! They want her to better herself with an education…
C
They would have asked the same thing if OOP had gotten a girl pregnant and left him with their baby I bet!
S
She’s seriously throwing away a deal most people would kill for.
I
That’s because the parents expectations have never been unreasonable. OOP only knows some of it. I wonder how many times they begged her to reconsider quitting school and what other deals they tried to offer to get her to leave the loser ex. They are great parents! Raised OOP well too as he felt able to speak to them and even questioned whether what he was doing was right. This girl, not woman, is self centered and now bringing a baby into the world with no means to look after it, is an awful idea.
C
I’m probably close in age to the parents. My kids are leaving the house soon and I’ll be an empty nester. I can’t imagine having to care for a baby right now. OP’s sister is indeed very lucky to have parents give her this arrangement. I’m going to guess she’s going to fuck it up and go party or something…
T
Your comment reminded me of a post I read recently. The OP of that post was angry because her parents wouldn’t provide free regular childcare. She said that if they loved being parents (i.e. having their children) so much, then it doesn’t make sense for them to say no to childcare for their grandkid/s. Apparently, her parents told her that they’ve raised their kids and are not interested in raising another baby. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the subreddit and I follow way too many.
_
>*The fact she won’t even consider going after Ed for child support* That honestly makes me wonder if Ed is actually the father. I hate to give Ed any benefit of the doubt. However, given that the sister seems to lack good sense and that this entire situation is a cluster fuck, perhaps she did something stupid like revenge-cheating and got pregnant by accident.
U
I could also see her acting out of a misplaced sense of pride and wanting to show him she doesn’t need him, like she did with her parents… I don’t know which I think is more likely, honestly – either way would get a “yeah, that tracks with the bad decision-making…” response!
N
I think she is just dumb and irresponsible, and either thinks she is doing him some noble favor by not disrupting his lawful family, or he scared her into not doing that. If she cheated, she would try to persuade him that it is his baby as long as possible. If she wants to lie to her relatives and friends that Ed is the father to save her face, she would try to force Ed to play his part in this farce.
S
She hopes he’ll take her back, and going after child support would make him mad and not want to come back.
J
Bingo. This is exactly what I was going to say.
W
Nah. He groomed her (that age difference is insane, no safe man would even consider a relationship, let alone a married man and father), and he is the one who kicked her out. She’s infatuated, and subservient to him. Relationships with that age difference cause a lot of damage to the younger person, and the fact that the relationship ended because he kicked her out is a strong hint that she isn’t over him at all, and still harbouring hope he’ll come around. She’s probably hoping that the birth of their child will magically fix their relationship. She’s not the first mother who avoids going for child support because she doesn’t want to hurt the father, or doesn’t want to anger him, or wants to avoid anything that might lower her perceived chances of getting back with him.
U
The sister is an entitled parasite. Who needs a good relationship with her if all she does is use you.
N
Honestly. My parents offered me a much worse deal (go off meds and pay out my savings for family counseling in return for covering tuition) and I still took it because it was better than dropping out of college and being homeless. Girl is about to learn why you should take the options offered you that keep you alive *when they’re the only ones you have*
T
I don’t understand the sister’s entitlement. Her only sacrifice is to not date. Imo, she’ll be busy as hell with the baby and school so how would she even find time to date? Is she so hard up that she HAS to have a boyfriend ASAP? I also doubt that any 21 year old student that she meets would want stepfather duties.
F
Pride goeth before a fall. She says they can’t tell her what to do in their own house and with their full support so if she can’t be humble enough to accept that generous offer then she will never learn. And I’m not surprised that she doesn’t get along with her boss.
Additional Sources:
USA Today – Extreme cold, major snow likely for millions across US. See the maps.
