The keyword “nancy guthrie update today” is trending due to the recent and concerning developments surrounding Nancy Guthrie’s disappearance from her Arizona home. Reports have emerged regarding her missing status, drawing significant public attention and prompting people to seek the latest information on her case.
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F
Looking at the guy’s other work history, there’s lots of mentions of abuse, being in abusive relationships in his past and lots of mental health issues including self harm and suicide. Also mentions he has foetal alcohol syndrome. He isn’t a well guy. I think for his sake, the break and a change of role will do him good. ETA u/Direct-Caterpillar77 not sure if you want to add it into your original post but it looks like from OOP’s post he has been offered his job.
M
Yeah, I started out reading thinking bro was just a brat, but as it went on it was clear he had some massive self esteem issues.
S
The FAS sadly explains a lot. I was reading all this wondering why he was being so emotional in a way the whole team noticed *and* kept it going for months. FAS nukes people’s ability to regulate their emotions.
N
I had a good friend who had it. Well, more than one friend over the years, but she and I were pretty close. It was so hard for her. She was such a decent person, really kind and generous at heart, but she’d been terribly hurt growing up and her trauma plus the FAS made it pretty much impossible for her to break the cycle of continuing to be hurt. She passed away about six years ago, I guess, and I still miss her. I’m really glad OP has been offered this new job. I hope the change of scenery and the increase in pay/position helps him feel better about where he is in life.
R
Companies really need to have technical pay-grade tracks that come with personal autonomy and a bigger check. Some people are really good at what they do, but not suited to managing other people.
F
OOP reminds me a lot of a friend of mine who was in a very similar position and never understood why he didn’t get the promotions that everyone else did. Luckily for him, he’s good with clients and was able to go freelance, where he’s killing it, but most people, like I’m assuming OOP, don’t really have that option.
H
Everything makes so much more sense when you look at OOPs profile & see that he has FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome)
T
I remember seeing all of his original posts and responding on there when he started to spiral. Seeing his latest post now and the result is not surprising. He needs to see about focusing and helping himself out a bit too before shoving himself into a stressful managerial role that he really might not be prepared for doing, despite wanting it.
U
He is going to be a HORRIBLE manager in the state he’s in now. And it sounds like he truly may not have actual strong managerial skills in general.
T
Agreed and that’s why he got passed over time and again. Not sure if that can be overcome for him but he first needs to have a come to Jesus moment about himself and realize he has a problem, which I don’t think he fully realizes as he’s still playing the victim.
W
I feel for him, but he also pretty well decided to prove to his current management that they had made the correct decision for who to promote with his response. His professional goals aside, he has clearly demonstrated his strengths lie in the technical side of his industry, not in the “dealing with people” side of things which is where a management position would place him. I honestly think he would struggle and be entirely miserable in a management position simply because his capacity to handle people is not one of his strengths.
T
Agreed, he doesn’t have enough self reflection or awareness that he’s being his own worst enemy. His new employer will figure that out quickly I’m sure. I also have to wonder if he did get spoken to about the explicit issues the prior management had with his performance but he’s only letting himself hear what he wants to hear. He’s not a reliable narrator. As many others have mentioned, tech corporate has a major problem with structure when it comes to upward mobility and those who should be able to keep seniority without having to become a manager. I’m in tech and I’m starting to see that at this point of my career and also have colleagues who are perfectly happy being a developer without managing people, but hit a ceiling in pay without becoming a manager. Many of my fellow engineers are definitely not people persons. I’ve been a task manager / lead but not a direct people manager at the same time. I could do it, if necessary, as I have taken some leadership and program management courses but I like my tech role too.
G
Oh wow. That’s big. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around some of these behaviours. Makes much more sense. Ta.
B
That “id” working overtime for sure.
S
> he has FAS Ah crap. That explains A LOT. Considering, he reacted in a fairly tame way, I’ve seen people with FAS react much more violently to real or perceived slights.
D
This makes way more sense. I was about to be so much harsher in my assumptions, glad I saw this.
E
I feel I was a bit more harsh on the original threads as it went along and I’m ashamed. Talked to OP at one point and was trying to show them how they’re not trying to be a manager for the right reasons, it shows, and there are reasons they get passed over even though they’re extremely competent in their role. As the saga went along I started losing empathy and regret that, live and learn. I really dislike all the idiot red pill men in the comments still rooting him along and saying bad women for taking the promotion and technical role. They aren’t helping OOP.
F
It’s actually now called FASD, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder because sometimes it causes intellectual disabilities and sometimes it doesn’t. Much like autism it’s a spectrum, but generally the emotional difficulties as seen here are consistent across the spectrum
U
The information about OOP’s condition really tells me a lot about his strengths. He probably is exceptionally gifted at the technical side of things to have done so well despite his disability.
E
Holy shit that’s terrible. I’ve followed this one and somehow never caught that, but it explains a lot.
M
Oh wow… this shows how little I know about FAS. I always kind of assumed FAS meant severe intellectual disabilities, but I just did a quick Google, and found a list of really accomplished people with diagnosed or suspected FAS (including Bernie Sanders?!?). Sounds like, for some people at least, executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation are bigger symptoms
P
Yeah it’s a HUGE spectrum. I have a cousin with a suspected FASD — she was adopted so we don’t know for sure, but she has the face and motor/behavioral stuff — and as a kid she mostly was doing okay and in mainstream school etc. just with ADHD treatment and some occupational therapy when she was a toddler. (The impulse control and dysregulation led her to start using meth as an adult and get pregnant by another methhead, but she was managing pretty well before that.)
D
There is literally nothing verifiable about Bernie sanders. It’s people speculating based on poor social skills (some people just have poor social skills, autism etc). He does not have the facial markers for it. Be really careful what or who you believe because even suspected for him isn’t rooted in reality or science.
B
I feel for OP. These jobs are soul sucking and the cost of living is going up.
B
The problem is most managers are too much of wusses to be up front with employees. OPs manager lied to his face about the restructure and the managerial opportunity being open to him – there is no evidence that development areas were shared with him. Sadly, the single biggest factor in getting promoted into leadership is likability which OP didn’t really have. I suspect he’s also considered too old to be a first time manager.
B
He may very well have been an option, but saying “you would be a contender” is very different from “you would be first in line” type feedback and people don’t pay attention and hear what they want to hear. He probably was on the short list, but what they saw in the 8 months he was there made him less than ideal but in his mind it was “his role” until they gave it to someone else and he realized it wasn’t and then felt cheated.
I
It’s very possible and realistic that opportunity areas weren’t shared. Based on OP’s attitude, I also wouldn’t be shocked if they were and he immediately dismissed them. He has zero self awareness.
B
One of his feedback points was that he responded poorly to criticism. They were giving him feedback. He didn’t think it was legitimate.
L
At pretty much every turn OOP basically went “I’ll show *you* who doesn’t handle feedback well!”
W
And getting angry when people get angry… A cool head is essential when managing other people in the workplace. OP has clearly demonstrated he is lacking in that capacity.
P
“You don’t take feedback well and you have anger management issues” *Turns to post angry rants online about how wrong everyone is.* OOP is his own worst enemy. Hopefully he gets help, but help only comes to those who want it and he sounds like the type to not want it.
G
I was about to say, it probably was an option until OOP ruined it for themselves.
E
I’m unsure of OOP being a reliable narrator and it isn’t very clear on the hiring timeline since it was “not long after” with no mentions on their mental health progress. Did the company just say the technical role was available to appease OOP or did they have another set back that led to the company deciding he couldn’t be trusted as part of long term planning? None of us will ever know the real truth and our viewpoint will always align with who we believe in this story.
E
Strong disagree. The opportunity objectively existed, it just went to someone else. The boss recruited him basically by saying come and prove yourself. Instead he took it as I’ll have a job when it happens. And he didn’t prove prove himself. He displayed behaviour that showed to the higher ups he would not make a good manager. Then the boss gave him feedback on what he needed to improve to be a manager. OOP said he was going to ignore it. Then he tried to sell OOP on another the technical role, something he showed no interest in. Instead of being proactive he clocked out mentally at work. Something OOP describes as people noticing. It got to the point where OOP moved from someone they wanted to retain to someone they wanted to pay to go away. The only thing the manager really did wrong was not talk to OOP sooner about the things he needed to improve on before he became a manager. The fact that they didn’t even interview him means it was probably obvious for a long time he wasn’t ready. Maybe he could have improved in time for the role, or at least it wouldn’t have come off as such a shock.
H
I don’t think he really wanted to be a manager, it seemed to me more that he wanted more pay and more respect for his technical skillset. Manager appeared to him to be the path to that and it became his goal. He’s got his own share of the blame for how things worked out but there were several failures of leadership that didn’t make the situation any better.
W
Ehh, many companies do that bs tho. Hey learn these things that you have to pay back if you quit that will give you more work and then maybe later we could possibly eventually pay you more (after you’ve shown you are willing to do more work for the same pay) Oop isn’t manager material but I would also be sceptical about their proposal
K
Especially after they hired someone for that exact role. That was extra weird, honestly.
C
Yeah, that told me they didn’t want to actually promote him. Which is weird based on how well they said they value his work.
N
It’s probably because he was extremely useful in his current role and they wanted to keep stringing him along while dumping more responsibilities on him. I got threatened with a PIP / firing for telling my manager I wouldn’t train the new guy or befriend him like she’d insisted because training’s not part of my job description, it’s inappropriate to push me to befriend someone, and I was already dealing with enough through my own workload. They thought they’d scared me into submission then panicked when I interviewed for a semi-internal role and suddenly offered me the shift change I’d requested 2 years ago with a caveat of having to wait until they hired and trained new people because they didn’t want to leave the guy they threatened me over alone. So I learned it takes 3 people to do what I was forced to do by myself for a year. I’m quitting today w/ no notice because I managed to get a way better job with amazing opportunities. I know it’s going to throw them for a loop because they expected me to stick around forever being overworked and underpaid, plus they really thought they’d snagged me with the janky shift change offer.
P
Happy for you, that you’re about to leave that place. Threatening an employee because they refuse to do things outside of their job description is awful.
N
The funniest part is that several people on the team who started after me and know less than me have been promoted to senior tech titles yet they tried to dump him on me, who’s title hasn’t changed in the entire 3.5yrs I’ve worked at the company. I have 0 ill will towards my coworkers (most of them are genuinely lovely!), it’s just further proof of that weirdo mentality certain people in management can have. They reward hard work with more work + 0 recognition, then either kick you out for pointing out the problem or act shocked / offended when you finally leave.
J
> It’s probably because he was extremely useful in his current role and they wanted to keep stringing him along while dumping more responsibilities on him. I have an ex where a manager kept him back from advancing to another role, and thought this might be the case. I also have been placed into situations where I was good enough to train other people, just not do the role “properly” according to management. And like you, I was threatened with my job if I did not train the person that was hired over me. I just put in my two weeks and refused to budge. 🙂 And good on you for the no notice. If they had fired you, they would not have given you the courtesy of 2 weeks notice!
N
It took 6 months to find something new and another 4 for it to start, so I really had to bide my time but it’ll be so worth it! I know they’re going to be shocked even though I had to report my manager and the other manager for harassment a few months after the threat. I’ve just been pretending everything is great and even managed to get all of my PTO approved for last month so I’m leaving after a nice paid break and a few days of actual work. I have a couple friends who still work there that plan on reporting back the fallout and my bestie and I will be drinking sparkling cider as I send the resignation email 😂 I fully agree on the notice point! Honestly I’ve only given notice once and it led to me being harassed for a month so I’ll only ever give notice again if I have the savings to cover the gap if they pull a “actually leave now” and I’ve been treated well by the company.
G
Good for you, I hope you’re much happier in your new role!
N
Thank you!! I start on Monday and have a good feeling because they upped their offer by $5k after I finished the interview process, so I’ll be making $20k more than my current job. It really feels like they believe in me and see my worth, which never would’ve happened if I stayed at my soon-to-be former company
L
I’ve been at too many employers who valued what I did in a specific position too much to let me go. The only reason why I got out of the call center hell at my current employer is that my supervisor left for the claims department then helped me do an end run around the manager of the call center to get me into claims. The manager was trying to get me to take on a supervisor’s role and I know I don’t have the temperament to manage people.
J
It’s not that they don’t value it, they just dont wanna pay what he’s rightfully gonna ask for compensation.
H
Then ask OOP to train them. I’m glad they said no.
K
Yeah, that would work be a hard no from me. If I’m not good enough to perform the job, I’m not good enough to train the employee they gave it to.
C
Don’t believe them without a concrete proposal and actual steps being taken. Higher ups love to promise things that don’t exist yet and promise to work on them. It’s too easy of a cop out.
Additional Sources:
FOX 10 Phoenix – Nancy Guthrie disappearance: Day 3 latest updates
